Do you ever feel overwhelmed when the unread emails in your inbox at work keep on increasing? Do you feel stressed when you miss a deadline? Or when the duties at home are piling up?
It is all in your head.
It does not occur to us that situations like the above — and other situations alike that makes us feel moody, unhappy and irritable — happen because our minds are out of shape. We then put even more pressure on ourselves because we assume we should just be able to handle it, but it should not come as a surprise when we cannot, because we have not built the base of the mind.
An untrained mind will always seek to do the minimum necessary to carry out a task. It will jump from A to M, back to D, then X. It is like running on a treadmill, where you are expending a lot of energy, but going nowhere. A disciplined mind however is progressive, moving smoothly from point A to point B. B to C. C to D, and so forth.
Equanimity
Achieving a true inner calmness is a complex process. Running has a lot of mental advantages, but bear in mind that mental clarity brought on by a long run often is temporary, and commonly achieved by exhaustion.
I used to think that the reason for why I felt more calm and content after a long run, was because the many hours spent on the trail that day would have provided me with enough time to sort out the clutter in my head.
By physically tiring myself I would naturally feel calmer, because the exhaustion made the thoughts seem less. My mind seemed more settled; it was pre-occupied with the exhaustion the trail run had brought upon it.
If you feel drained physically, and are unable to have deeper, more contemplating thoughts after spending an entire morning or day on the trails, you are likely to have exhausted your mind instead of having cleared the clutter.
If you have not trained your mind, it will take you wherever it wants to go.
Once my mind had regained the energy, the many thoughts reappeared. I was thinking about one thing and then another, and then a third. I was back on the mental treadmill. In this state, my mind was less available and I quickly returned to feeling overwhelmed.
I was now too distracted to hold onto the feeling of contentedness and remain calm because I too was yet to build the base of my mind.
Movement is good for the body, stillness is good for the mind
It is important to balance your engagement with the sympathetic nervous system by involving the parasympathetic nervous system in equal or larger measures — which is what happens when you rest.
During a run, your mind is engaged in a sympathetic nervous system process and without allowing enough time for proper recovery, you will likely end up feeling uneasy and irritable. Stressed even. It might seem logical, but a lot of people neglect rest these days, as they are afraid of being deemed idle. Or perhaps they struggle to sit still.
Some of my favourite things to do to engage the parasympathetic nervous system is to meditate and do breath work. That might sound tedious and boring to some, but it works. Through the practise of these two, as well as the practise of both patience and gratitude, I have become equanimous.
Equanimity means not giving your power away in what is perceived like chaotic and challenging moments. It is a state of psychological stability and composure, which is undisturbed by the experience of, or exposure to, emotions or pain that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind. Instead of reacting to triggers, you remain stable and respond with balance, wisdom, self control and compassion.
Equanimity is not to be confused with being cold, aloof, detached, or numb. It simply means feeling and responding from your power. It will help you recognise whether a response from you is necessary at all.
Surrender to the feelings as an observer, instead of attaching an emotional response to them. Just watch it happen. Once you can develop that healthy distance from your emotions, you can start having more rational responses to emotional situations and thus acquire a higher balance level.
The perception of things being good or bad is a cultural construction. For a balanced mind that has cultivated equanimity, things just are. The archetype of desire in our Western culture builds upon the notion of happiness as an obtainable good that one can have and lose. Simultaneously, a trained mind knows that joy comes from within and not the other way around.
The journey outward begins inward.
Having an equanimous, balanced mind is crucial to surviving life’s unpredictability. We cannot always control what happens, but we can control how we react to it.
Comments